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Thread: Chuck Norris jokes!

  1. #1

    Chuck Norris jokes!

    I dunno if there was another thread like this but i cannot remember ;P


    just post even one chuck norris joke if u want
    (im only gonna post 1!)

    Chuck Norris forces himself to have a heart attact twice a year, so he can keep tricking the world into believing he's actually human.
    Welcome to my team!
    I CUT YOU SO BAD YOU NO WISH I CUT YOU SO BAD!
    Ignoramus is mah hero!
    Build meh a statue!

    http://youtube.com/bigmanforce - Ao machinima

    Just check it out, maybe you'll find something you like.
    New vids inc Xbox live gamertag: Bigmanforce23 lets play ^^
    Halo, cod, destiny all the games you hate! (360)

  2. #2
    The power of Chuck Norris' roundhouse can power Australia for one year.

    Chuck Norris' tears can cure cancer...shame though cause Chuck Norris never cries.
    No longer plays. It ruins my life.

  3. #3
    Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

    When God said, "let there be light", Chuck Norris said, "say 'please'."
    Ludozee 195/8 Fixer, RK2 [Equip]

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    Dutch and Proud

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    "My pantaloons are full of weasels. Inform the queen, so that she might shoo them away. Here we go 'round the mulberry bush. Go monkey GO!"

  4. #4
    In Pamplona, Spain, the people may be running from the bulls, but the bulls are running from Chuck Norris.
    Chuck Norris uses pepper spray to spice up his steaks.
    Quote Originally Posted by Psythe View Post
    You kinda look like Criss Angel the MIND FREAK!!!

  5. #5
    wtf made Chuck norris so uber in the first place if i may ask? :P
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  6. #6
    Quote Originally Posted by Blackdog View Post
    wtf made Chuck norris so uber in the first place if i may ask? :P

    Nobody knows.....its like asking where God came from ......its a mystery...all that we do know is he is the uber.
    No longer plays. It ruins my life.

  7. #7
    Chuck Norris doesn't read books, he stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

    There is no Theory of Evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.
    Feurix 220/22 Enforcer :: Naphalus 131/16 Engineer :: Geruka xxx/xx Soldier

    General of Asgard.


    [Team] Galdethi: "Feurix is tanking? ok sure *runs to save* yeah ill brt!"

  8. #8
    When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

  9. #9
    Quote Originally Posted by SF_MileWorf View Post
    When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
    Makes me think of South Park ("Mom, Tom Cruise won't come out of the closet!")
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  10. #10

    Arrow Purile and weak:

    Hmm... I didn't realise everyone thought he was so full of himself. I did come across a joke about him once, can't remember what though.

    I don't know, these sort of jokes can be alright, fill in between two other jokes as a sort of repartee. On their own and one after another ...

    (insert clip of Chuck Norris trying to fly off a cliff and hitting the bottom.)



    I prefer build up, a bit of a story and finally the witty cut back. One line deliveries that insult people are seldom any good; here is one from a master keep in mind that he was thoroughly intoxicated at the time:

    A lady says, "Sir, if I were your wife I would poison your tea."

    "If I were your husband, madam. I would drink it," replied Winston Churchill.

  11. #11
    Winston Churchill was clever, and funny as hell.

    I've read some other great quips from him before.

  12. #12
    Hitler didnt commit a suicide, once upon a time while Chuck Norris was practicing his roundhouse kicks his foot broke the speed of light thus travelling backwards in time and kicking hitlers head into a fine bloody mist.

    Chuck norris and T man walk into a bar, the building was instantly destroyed as such level of awesomeness cant be contained in one building.
    Last edited by Mr_Stabby; Oct 29th, 2007 at 08:46:04.

  13. #13

  14. #14
    Quote Originally Posted by Jenshai View Post
    Who is "T man"?
    Why, Mr. T of course!
    Never watched the A-team? "I pity the fool!"
    Ludozee 195/8 Fixer, RK2 [Equip]

    Tribute to Wrangeline's tier-armour post

    Dutch and Proud

    Proud General of Unlimited High Society


    "My pantaloons are full of weasels. Inform the queen, so that she might shoo them away. Here we go 'round the mulberry bush. Go monkey GO!"

  15. #15
    Chuck Norris would kick your bloody asses for making all the bad jokes about him.

  16. #16
    Chuck Norris went to watch Jaws but the shark screamed and left.
    bai2u!
    -::l2pvp!1::-
    Electronite: FFA also destroyed Clan hegemony when it comes to tower wars. Ironically the downfall was started by the most active pvpers. Another ironic thing is that the downfall happened due to pvm conflict. Silirrion: (We have pretty good anti-troll filters by now though) Means: Thong-wearing troxes will always be a part of this game and a point of AO pride. Keldros: Obviously reall trolls don't use conditioner Marlark: If this forum was Swedish in it's language .. id pawn you any day. 220 NT: tl7 is a joke most of the time. 90% of the people are double double dead. some are worth debuffing tho. Mastablasta: you guys are right and I'm wrong. Ebag: No. You alpha me'd due to the stat bug. More Ebag: I don't have any twinks currently, nor do I participate much in mass TL7 PvP (though I do go occasionally, usually just to watch). Questra: an MP in sneak eNSDed me and did about 20k damage in 10-12 seconds

  17. #17
    Chuck Norris forces your NCU to run Roundhouse Kick...
    You were attacked with nanobots for 6938623497343482 points of Roundhouse Kick damage.
    Ludozee 195/8 Fixer, RK2 [Equip]

    Tribute to Wrangeline's tier-armour post

    Dutch and Proud

    Proud General of Unlimited High Society


    "My pantaloons are full of weasels. Inform the queen, so that she might shoo them away. Here we go 'round the mulberry bush. Go monkey GO!"

  18. #18
    justa Ctrl c /v

    Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.

    When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.

    Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.

    Chuck Norris’ hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.

    Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.

    Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.

    I like this one:

    Chuck Norris gave Mona Lisa that smile.
    Cookie'FF'Tastic

    The peace sign is just the middle and the trigger finger

  19. #19
    Quote Originally Posted by Ludo View Post
    Why, Mr. T of course!
    Never watched the A-team? "I pity the fool!"
    w00t for Mr. T!!!

    Just a random thought by a race-card pulling crat:

    "Why does Carlo have to be white?" (even though he's Italian etc..)

    FC's response....

    "Executing Nano "Summon Mr. T"
    "Nano Formula Executed Successfully"
    "Mr. T: "I pitty the fool!"

    ROFL

    No longer plays. It ruins my life.

  20. #20
    Quote Originally Posted by 2501 View Post
    Chuck Norris would kick your bloody asses for making all the bad jokes about him.
    I wouldn't bet on it!

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