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Old Oct 28th, 2007, 05:10:03   #1
BIGMANFORCE
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Chuck Norris jokes!

I dunno if there was another thread like this but i cannot remember ;P


just post even one chuck norris joke if u want
(im only gonna post 1!)

Chuck Norris forces himself to have a heart attact twice a year, so he can keep tricking the world into believing he's actually human.
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Old Oct 28th, 2007, 23:05:17   #2
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The power of Chuck Norris' roundhouse can power Australia for one year.

Chuck Norris' tears can cure cancer...shame though cause Chuck Norris never cries.
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Old Oct 28th, 2007, 23:35:43   #3
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Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

When God said, "let there be light", Chuck Norris said, "say 'please'."
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Old Oct 29th, 2007, 00:55:41   #4
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In Pamplona, Spain, the people may be running from the bulls, but the bulls are running from Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris uses pepper spray to spice up his steaks.
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Old Oct 29th, 2007, 01:29:06   #5
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wtf made Chuck norris so uber in the first place if i may ask? :P
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Old Oct 29th, 2007, 01:35:00   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Blackdog View Post
wtf made Chuck norris so uber in the first place if i may ask? :P

Nobody knows.....its like asking where God came from ......its a mystery...all that we do know is he is the uber.
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Old Oct 29th, 2007, 02:52:59   #7
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Chuck Norris doesn't read books, he stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

There is no Theory of Evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.
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Old Oct 29th, 2007, 03:48:01   #8
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When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
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Old Oct 29th, 2007, 04:19:20   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SF_MileWorf View Post
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
Makes me think of South Park ("Mom, Tom Cruise won't come out of the closet!")
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Old Oct 29th, 2007, 04:56:31   #10
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Arrow Purile and weak:

Hmm... I didn't realise everyone thought he was so full of himself. I did come across a joke about him once, can't remember what though.

I don't know, these sort of jokes can be alright, fill in between two other jokes as a sort of repartee. On their own and one after another ...

(insert clip of Chuck Norris trying to fly off a cliff and hitting the bottom.)



I prefer build up, a bit of a story and finally the witty cut back. One line deliveries that insult people are seldom any good; here is one from a master keep in mind that he was thoroughly intoxicated at the time:

A lady says, "Sir, if I were your wife I would poison your tea."

"If I were your husband, madam. I would drink it," replied Winston Churchill.
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Old Oct 29th, 2007, 05:00:07   #11
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Winston Churchill was clever, and funny as hell.

I've read some other great quips from him before.
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Old Oct 29th, 2007, 08:43:33   #12
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Hitler didnt commit a suicide, once upon a time while Chuck Norris was practicing his roundhouse kicks his foot broke the speed of light thus travelling backwards in time and kicking hitlers head into a fine bloody mist.

Chuck norris and T man walk into a bar, the building was instantly destroyed as such level of awesomeness cant be contained in one building.

Last edited by Mr_Stabby; Oct 29th, 2007 at 08:46:04..
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Old Oct 29th, 2007, 11:38:23   #13
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Who is "T man"?
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Old Oct 29th, 2007, 12:30:20   #14
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Originally Posted by Jenshai View Post
Who is "T man"?
Why, Mr. T of course!
Never watched the A-team? "I pity the fool!"
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"My pantaloons are full of weasels. Inform the queen, so that she might shoo them away. Here we go 'round the mulberry bush. Go monkey GO!"
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Old Oct 29th, 2007, 12:54:05   #15
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Chuck Norris would kick your bloody asses for making all the bad jokes about him.
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Old Oct 29th, 2007, 13:03:57   #16
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Chuck Norris went to watch Jaws but the shark screamed and left.
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Old Oct 29th, 2007, 13:35:14   #17
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Chuck Norris forces your NCU to run Roundhouse Kick...
You were attacked with nanobots for 6938623497343482 points of Roundhouse Kick damage.
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"My pantaloons are full of weasels. Inform the queen, so that she might shoo them away. Here we go 'round the mulberry bush. Go monkey GO!"
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Old Oct 29th, 2007, 14:18:03   #18
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justa Ctrl c /v

Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.

When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.

Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.

Chuck Norris’ hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.

Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.

Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.

I like this one:

Chuck Norris gave Mona Lisa that smile.
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Old Oct 30th, 2007, 00:15:41   #19
sirmalak
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ludo View Post
Why, Mr. T of course!
Never watched the A-team? "I pity the fool!"
w00t for Mr. T!!!

Just a random thought by a race-card pulling crat:

"Why does Carlo have to be white?" (even though he's Italian etc..)

FC's response....

"Executing Nano "Summon Mr. T"
"Nano Formula Executed Successfully"
"Mr. T: "I pitty the fool!"

ROFL

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Old Oct 30th, 2007, 05:12:01   #20
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 2501 View Post
Chuck Norris would kick your bloody asses for making all the bad jokes about him.
I wouldn't bet on it!
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