CAJUN BALLERINA

A big woman, wearing a sleeveless sundress, walked into a bar. She raised
her right arm, revealing a huge, hairy armpit as she pointed to all the
people sitting at the bar and asked, "what man out there will buy a lady a
drink?"


The bar went silent as the patrons tried to ignore her. At the end of the
bar, was Boudreaux, a skinny little Cajun, who was VERY drunk. Boudreaux
slammed his hand on the bar and said, "Give dat Ballerina a drink!"


Thibodeaux, the bartender, a close friend of Boudreaux's, poured the drink
and the woman chugged it down. She turned again to the patrons and pointed
around at all of them, revealing her hairy armpit, and asked, "What man out
there will buy a lady a drink?"


Once again, Boudreaux slapped his hand down on the bar and said, "Give dat
Ballerina a nudder drink!"


Thibodeaux finally approached Boudreaux and said, "Boudreaux mah frien', I
know it's your bidness of course if you want to buy dat lady a drink, but
how come you keep callin' her a Ballerina?"


Boudreaux replied, "Thibodeaux....to me, any woman who can lift her leg dat
high got to be a Ballerina!"
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Ten Best Things To Say If You Get Caught Sleeping At
Your Desk


10. "They told me at the blood bank this might happen."

9. "This is just a 15-minute power nap like they
raved about in that
time management course you sent me to."

8. "Whew! Guess I left the top off the White-Out. You
probably got here
just in time!"

7. "I wasn't sleeping! I was meditating on the
mission statement and
envisioning a new paradigm."

6. "I was testing my keyboard for drool resistance."

5. "I was doing a highly specific Yoga exercise to
relieve work-related
stress. Are you discriminatory toward people who
practice Yoga?"

4. "Why did you interrupt me? I had almost figured
out a solution to
our biggest problem."

3. "The coffee machine is broken..."

2. "Someone must've put decaf in the wrong pot..."

And the #1 best thing to say if you get caught sleeping
at your desk...

1. " ... in Jesus' name. Amen."
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LEROY WANTS A BIKE

LITTLE LEROY CAME INTO THE KITCHEN WHERE HIS MOTHER WAS MAKING DINNER. HIS
BIRTHDAY WAS COMING UP AND HE THOUGHT THIS WAS A GOOD TIME TO TELL HIS
MOTHER WHAT HE WANTED. "MOM, I WANT A BIKE FOR MY BIRTHDAY." LITTLE LEROY
WAS BIT OF A TROUBLE MAKER. HE HAD GOTTEN INTO TROUBLE AT SCHOOL AND AT
HOME. LEROY'S MOTHER ASKED HIM IF HE THOUGHT HE DESERVED TO GET A BIKE FOR
HIS BIRTHDAY. LITTLE LEROY, OF COURSE, THOUGHT HE DID. LEROY'S MOTHER, BEING
A CHRISTIAN WOMAN, WANTED LEROY TO REFLECT ON HIS BEHAVIOR OVER THE LAST
YEAR. "GO TO YOUR ROOM, LEROY AND THINK ABOUT HOW YOU HAVE BEHAVED THIS
YEAR. THEN WRITE A LETTER TO GOD AND TELL HIM WHY YOU DESREVE A BIKE FOR
YOUR BIRTHDAY." LITTLE LEROY STOMPED UPTHE STEPS TO HIS ROOM AND SAT DOWN TO
WRITE GOD A LETTER.
LETTER 1:
DEAR GOD, I HAVE BEEN A VERY GOOD BOY THIS YEAR AND I WOULD LIKE A BIKE FOR
MY BIRTHDAY. I WANT A RED ONE. YOUR FRIEND, LEROY. LEROY KNEW THAT THIS
WASN'T TRUE. HE HAD NOT BEEN A VERY GOOD BOY THIS YEAR, SO HE TORE UP THE
LETTER AND STARTED OVER.
LETTER 2:
DEAR GOD, THIS IS YOUR FRIEND LEROY. I HAVE BEEN A GOOD BOY THIS YEAR AND I
WOULD LIKE A RED BIKE FOR MY BIRTHDAY. THANK YOU. YOUR FRIEND, LEROY. LEROY
KNEW THAT THIS WASN'T TRUE EITHER. SO HE TORE UP THE LETTER AND STARTED
AGAIN.
LETTER 3"
DEAR GOD, I HAVE BEEN AN "OK" BOY THIS YEAR. I STILL WOULD LIKE A BIKE FOR
MY BIRTHDAY. LEROY. LEROY KNEW HE COULD NOT SEND THIS LETTER TO GOD
EITHER. SO, LEROY WROTE A FOURTH LETTER.'
LETTER 4:
GOD, I KNOW I HAVEN'T BEEN A GOOD BOY THIS YEAR. I AM VERY SORRY. I WILL BE
A GOOD BOY IF YOU JUST SEND ME A BIKE FOR MY BIRTHDAY. "PLEASE""" THANK YOU
LEROY
LEROY KNEW, EVEN IF IT WERE TRUE, THIS LETTER WAS NOT GOING TO GET HIM A
BIKE. NOW LEROY WAS VERY UPSET. HE WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND TOLD HIS MOM THAT HE
WANTED TO GO TO CHURCH. LEROY'S MOTHER THOUGHT HER PLAN HAD WORKED AS LEROY
LOOKED VERY SAD. "JUST BE HOME IN TIME FOR DINNER." LEROY'S MOTHER TOLD HIM.
LEROY WALKED DOWN THE STREET TO THE CHURCH ON THE CORNER. LITTLE LEROY WENT
INTO THE CHURCH AND UP TO THE ALTER. HE LOOKED AROUND TO SEE IF ANYONE WAS
THERE. LEROY BENT DOWN AND PICKED UP A STATUE OF THE VIRGIN MARY. HE SLIPPED
IT UNDER HIS SHIRT AND RAN OUT OF THE CHURCH, DOWN THE STREET, INTO THE
HOUSE AND UP TO HIS ROOM. HE SHUT THE DOOR TO HIS ROOM AND SAT DOWN WITH A
PIECE OF PAPER AND A PEN. LEROY BEGAN TO WRITE HIS LETTER TO GOD.
LETTER 5:
GOD, I'VE GOT YOUR MAMMA. IF YOU WANT TO SEE HER AGAIN, SEND THE BIKE!!!!!!
SIGNED, YOU KNOW WHO
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