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Thread: The epic quest for groceries.

  1. #1

    The epic quest for groceries.

    This is exactly what happened to me today when I decided I needed more cigarettes, Chocolate milk, dinner and toothpaste:

    I get in my car and drive down towards the local grocery store. It's only 2 minutes away from my house. When I get to about 100 meters away from the store, the road is closed because of some random construction crap.

    So I perform a U-turn and decide to drive in the opposite direction towards another store that is about 3 minutes away. As I drive along this lengthy road I eventually pass this tiiiny sign placed at the side of the road. I slow down and squint my eyes to make out what it says. It says:

    "Do not drive past here. Closed for construction."

    I got cars behind me and one in front of me but I think "Um ok, I'll just take the next right turn".

    However when I get to the next right turn, which is the LAST turn you can make on this road, it's suddenly closed. So basically that sign just told you that you are CURRENTLY driving on a one way street leading to hell and there is no way to get off that road.

    I can't make a U-turn either because of the way the street is designed and there are loads of cars behind me, and one car in front. So we just keep driving, hoping to find some solution further ahead.

    The only thing we find further ahead is a dead end, lot's of randomly parked construction equipment and some construction foreman staring at us like we are the convoy from hell, coming there just to grind his last nerve.

    I have the windows open so I can hear him shout something about us not being able to read signs and to turn around and all kinds of obscenities that I can't type here. The guy in the car in front of me gets out and yells back "Learn to PLACE signs you %¤&#!"

    After like 7 minutes of chaos we are given the room to actually perform a U-turn. On our way back down the road, away from the construction site, we pass loads of cars that fell into the same trap as us. I'm laughing hysterically as I'm picturing in my head, another convoy from hell reaching that construction foreman and driving him completely insane.

    So now I'm driving towards a third store and when I get there, it's 4 o' clock and there is a mad rush of people trying to park there and there is no room for me so I decide to just skip the whole thing and do the shopping later. I'm pretty tired of this nonsense at this point. There is no room to turn around near the shop because it's swarmed with cars. I really mean swarmed. People that have done their shopping and are coming out, CAN'T get out because those who are waiting in line to get in are in the way.

    So anyway, I drive past that chaos and into this small road going past loads of houses. I see a big parking lot and decide to turn my car around here. I drive into the lot and temporarily stop the car in front of a fence. I look at the fence as I put the car in reverse and there is a sign that says "Parking spot reserved for Dibbe!"

    All this time I have had music blasting in the car and the windows open. I'm feeling a bit silly at this point so I shout "What the hell, DIBBE isn't even a real NAME!"

    Just as I shout that I realize that the song on my stereo had ended and an elderly woman had heard me. She bent down towards the car window and said "I'm Dibbe, It's my first name."

    As I'm looking at her I'm thinking to myself "Oh great, now I'm gonna get bitch slapped in the face by a 70 year old woman."

    But instead she starts laughing and that was cool

    So now I drive home and here I am.

    Seriously, all I want is some cigs, chocomilk and maybe even some food. That's not asking much! There are 300 stores in this town, it should be doable!
    Last edited by Wrangeline; Oct 29th, 2007 at 15:43:50.
    Veteran of Equilibrium

  2. #2
    It sounds like you live in Italy.

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